Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Back again, so soon?

It's time for Tea...but we're in a hurry....we're headed to Bible Study, so a trip through Sonic will have to work for today....order whatever you want, my treat!

I'd tell you that I've really been struggling with the fact that I can't have another baby...I mean, or even one. My son was adopted and he is perfect and everything surrounding bringing him home is perfect and I see the hand of God on the whole situation, but I'd by lying if I said I didn't yearn for another one. Combined with the fact that people around me are growing bellies at the speed of light, this thing is consuming me. So I gave it over to God...and in His time I'll have another or I won't. And I'm learning to be ok with that. It's been a process since 2005 when I had the surgery that put me in this position.

I'd tell you that I'm enjoying my quiet time. I really am enjoying it and I wish that I wouldn't have let so much time go by since I've truly and honestly sought out the Lord and his plan and will for my life. Its such a good thing...

I'd tell you that training for this 1/2 marathon is no laughing matter and there are days I want to run right back into the house, but I will do it. When it gets tough, I imagine my dad sitting in the hospital receiving chemo via needles, something he hated with a passion. And I think to myself, if my dad could endure that pain for 2 years, surely I can run a few more minutes. Besides, he is my motivation and I am running in his honor....

I'd tell you this song is really speaking to me right now.....so I'd want you to enjoy it too.

I'd tell you that I really need to get back to life with my son because it's precious and all too soon I won't have this time.

I'd hug your neck and send you on your way...


  1. i'll take a cherry limeaid. yum!

    my heart is breaking for you and wrapping you in a HUGE hug. this is such a struggle for us friends right now. wow, i think GOD has put ya'll in my life to keep me balanced, grounded and reminded of our common paths, struggles and joys. to remind us that we are not alone. not alone here on this earth. not alone in the desires and pain. not alone in the joy and hope. keep telling HIM what you want. keep lifting it to HIM in prayer. don't ignore that desire of your heart. he put it there for a reason. a reason you don't even know right now. OUR GOD IS GREATER, OUR GOD IS STRONGER ... THAN ANY OTHER. AWESOME IN POWER. yes, that is OUR GOD.

    yes, spend every extra second you can with your little man and husband. these moments are going to go fast and you don't want to miss them.

    see you next week. i sure wish i really in the same town, going to bible study and meeting you in person.

    hugs, friend.

  2. Sonic...yum! I'll take a peach tea! :) I really hope we get to meet up at the Dallas 1/2 because it will be so good to see you!! I know how hard training can be but you have such focus and determination and I have no doubt you will complete that 1/2 and feel FABULOUS afterwards!!

  3. More often than not your words fill my eyes with tears. I know you don't intend to do that, but your honest words speak to my heart. I think if we lived in the same town now, instead of 5 years ago, you would be a frequent companion, a very dear friend. Alas, God does things in His timing and I guess I don't get the pleasure of knowing what His reasoning is. Irregardless of our locations, reading your blog I feel closer to you than ever. And I pray for you, always. Have a good week, sweet friend.