More Jacin...

He's up to no good...

Where have you been Jacin?!

Jacins been up to all sorts of no good shenanigans. A couple of times he didn't move because he had nothing good to report to Santa....

Oh, and those emails you can have the virtual Santa send?! Perfect! Reese had been having a horrible day do I sent a naughty one. His face lit up when the Santa said his name and named a toy he wanted and where he lived. Then when Santa told him he'd thrown too many temper tantrums, and was on the naughty list, Reese's face dropped. He cried and cried. He begged at that computer screen to give him another chance. And when he was good, Santa sent him a new good email. His face lit up knowing he'd been good. Oh the things we do to get our kids to behave....

Do you see what I see?

Jacins playing.....

Puzzles under the tree!!

Gunman shooting up the house.....

Someone is having a midnight snack...

Jacin Day 2

Last night, Elf on the Shelf was an ABC movie. It really was cute and so great for the boys to understand what it really meant.

Jacin started out in the nativity watching baby Jesus.

However, he quickly had to be moved because the boys touched him (a big no no- the elf will lose his powers to tell Santa if you were naughty or nice).

I decided to take him away for a bit. The boys knew from the movie he had to go to the elf hospital. So when they came back from the park this morning he had moved onto the blinds...

The Journey of Jacin....

We started Elf on the Shelf last year. I have to admit I wasn't very good about moving him. And I think he stayed hanging out of Reese's stocking most of the month.

However, with the help of Pinterest, I have had more fun and he's only moved 3 times!!!

Our elf, Jacin, pronounced Jaw-sin has made some fun trips so far.... And I wanted to document his journey...

Day 1 Jacin appeared on the milk. My nephew JoeJoe woke up at 6am and my sister tried to hold him off from coming downstairs to eat to wait on Reese but after 2 hours she just couldn't. So, JoeJoe found Jacin. He was so excited!!!

I then colored the milk green so they could see his magic powers. This backfired as neither boy wanted green milk.

This is going to be a fun tradition....

Tiny Prints Holiday Cards

Why yes, I am that crazy lady who has had my house decorated for Christmas since the second week of November! I won't go into my reasons for decorating so early, but I am fully justified in them, and my husband humors me and that just works for us! And let me tell you, with the all day thunderstorms rolling through here, it's nice to have the mantle lit up, and all 9 of my trees glowing. Yes, 9 trees. So what?!

So of course, if I have my house decorated, don't you think I have already gotten on the Christmas card? I've attempted to take picture 4 different times now, but each time, I've gotten NOTHING I can work with. NOTHING. Maybe because I have a 4 month old. The MOST awkward age to take a picture. She can't sit up, if she lays, she rolls, she's drooling like crazy and prefers her hands in her mouth or around her face rather than anywhere else. Throw in a 4 1/2 year old and you see what I've got to work with.

I've decided to go with Tiny Prints this year. I have a friend who uses them for EVERYTHING and the word I would use to describe them is classic and quality. Y'all, their stuff is good. Every time I open a card from her, I always have envy over just how cute or great her cards are.

So this year, here's what I'm leaning towards....

I really love the cleanness of this card. And I like the bright colors.
This one is cute. I totally dig the solid red background and the adorable way Holidays is written.
Oh, the polka dots.....
This one can be color customized...although red wins for me...
And I just love all the bright words...
Y'all, Tiny Prints has it all. Birth Announcements, Address Labels, Christmas Cards....really, a one stop place for your correspondence needs. If you're a blogger and are interested in 50 free Tiny Prints Christmas cards, leave a comment with your email and I'll pass along the offer!

To check out the full line of Christmas cards, click here.

Massage Envy

I've convinced Reese that rubbing my shoulders, neck and back is fun. I'm going to milk this as long as I can...

Trick or Treat

Happy Halloween from Pocahontas and the pirate!

Reeseisms.....

After leaving P's 4 month well check, R says " You know, if I wanted to eat at McDonalds, I would. I'm just being nice by letting you take me to Chuck E Cheese. You should probably say Thank You!"

Oh dear...

A new venture....

I've started a new venture....will you follow?

www.iwilldadiwill.blogspot.com

Tea For Tuesday

Today is Tuesday...

And after months of being "gone", I'd like to invite you in.

For what? Tea for Tuesdays that Christi at GreyUmbrella hosts.

And I've got lots to choose from today since I just went to the grocery store yesterday. So, please, have some butter toffee coffee, sweet iced tea, Fresca, Orange Juice, Capri Suns, V8 juice.....

Well, since we last talked, lots has happened...
I didn't run my marathon.
I made a whirlwind trip home to meet a special person.
My son started TBall.
I got a job.
I enrolled my son in PreK (is he really that old?)
My son learned to swim the length of the pool on his own.
I questioned my faith in God.
I really could keep going....

But I guess what you really care about is that we found out we are adopting again.

It really was a shock. Totally out of the blue. A true, chance meeting set in motion by God.

We are going to have a little girl and she'll be here in July.

Her birthmother and I have become friends, and I know that God set this whole thing in motion.

I don't want to say too much, because as with all adoptions, just because someone says they want you to adopt, there are things that can happen. Even with an agency, the birthmother can back out. She has 48 hours to sign away her rights. The birthfather can disagree to the adoption...there really are so many things. So basically, you can't say its for real "for real" until you are driving away with the baby in your car.

I have so longed for this baby and honestly thought she wasn't going to come. I really was happy and content with it being "Rasor, Party of Three". I had gotten to that point. My heart was content, my heart was happy with just us three. And then she came along and to be honest, I had to really, really think about it.

For so long I had wanted her, yet the moment someone wanted me to have her, I was unsure. It had taken me YEARS to get to where I was and literally, days after I was content with Rasor Party of Three, it was now becoming Party of Four.

I've struggled in my faith over the last few months as well. I can't quite put my finger on it and I am not so ready to put some of those feelings out there for the world, but I've hit a low valley. To be quite honest, I don't know that I've ever had some of these feelings. I'm working through them, but it's rough. It is rough to question everything you've thought and known for almost your whole life...

One thing that's helped is the new church we've been visiting. It's like a breath of fresh air. Finally, something in this big city feels like home, feels right, feels like where we are supposed to be. So we are getting plugged in, starting to find our way there.

And I couldn't be more excited.

Life is moving...and I'm happy.

Truly happy.

My hands are holding you...

When I was a kid, I attended a very small church, with a very close group of core friends who were all my same age. We often were given scripture memory from our various Sunday School teachers through the years and I vividly remember a point in time when the 4 of us thought it was so funny to know the shortest verse in the Bible, John 11:35 - "Jesus wept."

I had no idea at the time what that verse meant other than Jesus cried. And to be honest, I haven't thought of it since way back then.

Skip forward to today. We are attending a church who is in the middle of a series called "A Big Faith" where we are looking at how to have faith in the storms of life and what that faith can do for you when you are looking at the situation from the outside.

Today the passage came from John 11 and was talking about when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. I write notes in my Bible and had obviously previously heard a sermon on this same subject. I had written reasons why God might not have immediately answered Mary and Martha's pleas to do something to keep Lazarus alive. Today, though, something different spoke to me.

When Jesus went into the tomb to see Lazarus' dead body, even though he was warned against it due to it being a 4-day old dead body, he spent time weeping. I fully believe that he wept to show us, he felt that pain too.

When my dad was dying and died I was so angry. I was 25 years old, had been married for one month. My dad was a young 45 years old. When he was first diagnosed with cancer, we were told they "got it all" in his first surgery and that everything was well on course for him to beat this disease. However, in 2 short years, it took his life.

I was angry at God. Had God not heard our cries and prayers? Had God not heard his? He begged God to rid him of this disease so he could continue to live his life, meet his one day grandchildren, travel with my mom, the list goes on....

There are times I still get very emotional about my dad. A song at church is often what sets the tears in motion. When I am in the middle of worshipping my God, I am reminded of my dad and grow angry, right there in the pew at why it has been almost 6 long years without him.

However, after sitting through that sermon, and really, really understanding the passage, I realize that just like Mary and Martha, I feel like God could have done something to reverse or heal my dad of his cancer. We all cried out to God in hopes that he would do just that. And I fully believe God could've healed my dad, that he would and could still be here, had that been part of God's plan.

However, as I sometimes go to the place of anger and "why" I now understand that Jesus loved too. He loved Lazarus and he wept at his passing. He spent time in the tomb to weep for his loved one.

And the story doesn't end there. He raised Lazarus from the dead so that we may believe. SO THAT WE MAY BELIEVE. What a powerful thing.

Now, I know that the story didn't end the way I wanted. He didn't raise my dad from the dead, he didn't cure him from this horrible disease, but he hurt just like me. He never promised that he would give me all that I wanted or prayed for, but he did promise to walk with me through it. He promised to walk with me, through it, to see me through it, even 6 years after the fact, God can still take my anger.

During the invitation, they played the following song, and I cried like a baby because for the first time in 6 years, I realized that God wants to walk through the valley of my feelings of my dads death with me.....

Did you know?

I am training for a 1/2 Marathon.

My son was adopted. God's hand was evident through the whole process and it is very evident that Reese was created just for our family. Funny how that works.

My quiet time really is the only "me" time I have everyday.

I love to try new recipes.

I cook everyday/night except Sunday. We eat out both meals that day.

Houston and the surronding area serve their hot sauce "warm". It really is gross. I just want some cold or even room temperature hot sauce. Mexican food here is so different from home.

My son is named after my dad, Kenny, who died on my one month wedding anniversary. My nephew is also named after my dad.

I got married twice.

To the same man.

I always get a crazy look when I say that.

My sister got married twice.

To the same man.

She gets crazy looks too.

My cousin, Ashley, came to live with my family when she was 5. I was 17, my sister was 13. She lived with our family until she decided she wanted to live with her dad again when she was 13.

I will have my first of many colonoscopies this year.

My dad and an aunt died of colon cancer.

This is the reason that at 30 I will start the screening process.

Statistics say that either me or my sister will get colon cancer.

I pray that we beat that statistic.

I'm from a town in the panhandle.

I've lived in 3 towns in West Texas.

I'm not in the Greater Houston Area.

Never thought I'd say this, but I like the big city life.

Went to my first fancy, fancy, fancy "big city" restauraunt this week. All it did was confirm that I am a West Texas girl and Outback has perfectly good food.

Don't get me wrong, the food was great, I'm just a plumbers daughter and we didn't do fancy.

And I'm ok with that because fancy just ain't me.

My son has a biological sister and brother.

So, not only is he an only child, but he's a middle child.

I will do whatever is in my power if he wants to meet his biological family someday.

I pray now that I can handle it if and when he comes to me and wants to find them.

I taught my husbands brother when he was an 8th grader.

He was in my very first class when I started teaching.

He is a different kid at home and at school.

Now that he's in college, he's completely different from those two people too!

My husband was adopted.

I love that my son has something to share with his dad.

Makes me the oddball in the house.

I live in a two story house.

This is the first and last time that will happen.

We've only been here 2 months.

I got a long time to learn to love those stairs.

Good morning!

time for tea.
except today, we're having coffee.
no you can't have something else.
we've having coffee and then we're trying to go back to bed!

you see, i was up all night with this cute little guy.
























he almost coughed his head off.
since we're new in town, i haven't really figured out how our new pedi's office works.
i did speak to the nurse and she said bring him in.
so i did.

his eyes were draining puss, he was coughing up a lung, and a green stream fell from his nose.
all the "stand in" dr cared about was his little rash. a rash that is literally one of those rashes that show up, don't itch, but just make you look red. no meds will help, you just have to let it run its course.

i continued to ask about the other things, the things that really concerned me, to which she ignored. we won't be her "stand in" patients again, i tell ya!

i could go on, but i won't. however, my long night insisted of sleeping in his twin bed with him, making shadow puppets at 3:20 this morning. thats the things of memories, guys.

and honestly, i'm in a bad mood from lack of sleep. and to top it off, garrett is being recognized as the top salesman for all of houston texas and surrounding tonight at a work function. he has to go. i need to go. but you see, when "stand in" didn't give me some meds for my sick boy, it makes it hard for me to want to leave him with a babysitter for the first time since living here.

luckily its his playschool teachers daughter, and they live close, so i trust the situation...we'll see if i go.

but since you came by for tea/coffee, i'd tell you that we are trying to find a sunday school class at church and i kind of feel like i'm in high school again. trying to meet people, trying to make friends in a new place, wanting them to like us...it's hard. but as an adult, its way worse, because first and foremost on my mind is reese. i want friends who have kids that are a good fit for reese. that's like a whole new level of friendship.....

i'd tell you that i want an at home job. one where i can make $1000 a month. know where i can make that happen?

then i'd wrap up by telling you that i've finally realized that to become the mother and wife i want to be, i must, no matter what spend time with Jesus every morning. (i haven't yet this morning, hence the ugly attitude above). seriously, it'll getcha everytime! he makes my heart right and thats a good thing.

i'd get up from the table, yawn a big yawn, stretch a big stretch, and tell you i'm headed upstairs to check and see if reese still has a lung and that i'm going to try to get him to lay down....

please come again next week, it'll be better ;)

Back again, so soon?

It's time for Tea...but we're in a hurry....we're headed to Bible Study, so a trip through Sonic will have to work for today....order whatever you want, my treat!

I'd tell you that I've really been struggling with the fact that I can't have another baby...I mean, or even one. My son was adopted and he is perfect and everything surrounding bringing him home is perfect and I see the hand of God on the whole situation, but I'd by lying if I said I didn't yearn for another one. Combined with the fact that people around me are growing bellies at the speed of light, this thing is consuming me. So I gave it over to God...and in His time I'll have another or I won't. And I'm learning to be ok with that. It's been a process since 2005 when I had the surgery that put me in this position.

I'd tell you that I'm enjoying my quiet time. I really am enjoying it and I wish that I wouldn't have let so much time go by since I've truly and honestly sought out the Lord and his plan and will for my life. Its such a good thing...

I'd tell you that training for this 1/2 marathon is no laughing matter and there are days I want to run right back into the house, but I will do it. When it gets tough, I imagine my dad sitting in the hospital receiving chemo via needles, something he hated with a passion. And I think to myself, if my dad could endure that pain for 2 years, surely I can run a few more minutes. Besides, he is my motivation and I am running in his honor....

I'd tell you this song is really speaking to me right now.....so I'd want you to enjoy it too.




I'd tell you that I really need to get back to life with my son because it's precious and all too soon I won't have this time.

I'd hug your neck and send you on your way...

Tea on Tuesdays...

i'm honored that you decided to join me today for tea.
tea on tuesdays is something christi at greyumbrella is doing.
it's real life, your heart, sharing what is on your heart with others.
please feel free to join in as well.

i'd offer you a drink of coffee, sweet tea or some of reese's v8 juice, but we are headed out to katy to return a christmas gift.
since we'll be in the car for the hour trip, i'd love for you to join me so we can chat :)

i'd tell you that last night was rough. reese has a habit of waking up anywhere between 2-4 and coming to get in bed with us. no it's not every night, but more than we'd like. so we finally said enough is enough and decided that last night we'd take him back to his bed. it broke my heart to hear him scream "i just want to love you. i just want to love you momma." sweet love really does love that time in bed with us, and to be honest, he snuggles close. it was hard. after an hour of back and forth, up and down the stairs, i finally decided he just wanted to feel close to us, so i laid on the couch upstairs to finishing sleeping (he started all this at 4). about every 45 minutes, he'd say "momma??" just to make sure i was still there...sweet love. i'd tell you it broke my heart, but he is almost 4 and we can't be having this anymore...

i'd tell you that i'm training for my first 1/2 marathon, and you'd probably look at me and say "yeah right", but i am. and i will complete it. i gained more than the freshman 15...a whole lot more and i've got to do something about it. i've run two 5ks so far and my training started last week. i fell behind some and so i ran 4 miles last night. it took me an hour to do it, but i did it, and i tell you this.... i'm darn proud of myself. i felt last night that i could and can cross that finish line after running 13 miles. i will do it. and i will hear my dad cheering me on... because i truly believe no one would be more proud of me than him.

i'd tell you that houston and living here has been completely different than what i thought. i thought i'd hate it. in fact, about 18 months ago garrett and i swore we'd never live here. and here we are and I.LOVE.IT. period. we both desire to be back in west texas at some point...but for now, we love it here (me more than him since i don't have to worry about traffic in a morning commute). we really are content. and i think thats a good place to be.

i'd tell you that i don't feel i have anything interesting to blog about so i quit blogging and i'm ok with that. i may get tired of it after this post and you may not hear from me for another 5 months and that'll be ok too.

i'd tell you that i lost a friendship this year and honestly, it's been freeing. sometimes when you are in the midst of it all it is so hard to see or be thankful for. but now, after 6 months, i can truly say i am ok with this. i deal with far less drama and i have more time for my family because i am not consumed in another familys drama.

i'd tell you that i am "praying God's word" via thepoefam and i've already learned amazing things from it. God is speaking to me and he is speaking my language. i'd tell you that i am honestly trying to seek christ with my whole heart and so far this year, i feel christ, i see him in the everyday...and that feels good.

i'd tell you that i'd love you to come over, because even though i love houston, i miss my friends. its not easy to find and quickly make deep friendships.

i'd tell you my heart is full at all i've been blessed with and that i'm trying to remember that more...

i'd tell you we should do this more often. i'd hug your neck and tell you if i don't hear from me again, i'll be back next tuesday for tea :)